Dealing with the world when you feel too small to do anything: part 2 of ?

A weird thing I sometimes do when it’s late at night and I’m having a case of bad anxiety or even if I can feel a small bubble of nervousness in my tummy is make a cup of herbal tea and a bowl of dry cereal. I’m a weird person in which I’ve never liked milk on cereal (unless it’s a chocolate cereal like Weetos – that’s an exception) so the dry cereal isn’t really out of the ordinary to me except that I’m sat at my computer at midnight or even later nibbling on cheerios and feeling a little bit more jittery than usual. But for some reason a dry, carb-y food like a bowl of cereal calms me a little bit.

I didn’t want these series of posts to come out of writing when I’m anxious but they feel a lot more genuine when I do because not only does writing them calm me down but I honestly feel I can express my points or give my advice better when I can imagine what any other person feeling anxious like me might even slightly feel like. That’s the thing with some anxious moments or days – once they’ve passed the experience can be quite fuzzy in our minds and they don’t feel as severe as they did when you try and explain them later. I always had this problem with explaining anxiety to my counsellor, in my worst anxiety attacks I’d feel so much but then a week later when a counsellor asked me to tell them how I feel I wouldn’t be able to comprehend all the feelings and physical symptoms I felt.

In this post, I don’t want to dwell on what’s gotten me in this anxious mood but I wanted to share some more tips on what to do when you’re like this. Last time I mostly focused on how to bring ourselves out of it. To close the story/tab/media that was making us anxious, to talk our feelings through out loud or to a friend and not feel guilty for removing ourselves from whatever is inducing our anxiety, anger or upset. This time I want to give you some tips on easing that ‘there is nothing I can do’ feeling. The hopelessness feeling. Especially if you are insistent on wanting to do something.

  1. Embrace this feeling and remember this is a positive trait.

I can’t remember when I found this post via Tumblr but it’s a post that has stuck with me for a good while and I think it’s extremely important.

“you all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you, that’s why you’re here.”

Now the whole quote from the writer is to do with being in college but I think the trait is very applicable to almost anyone. If you have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you, it is something you should be extremely proud of. You need to embrace this feeling and remember you are one of the people this world definitely needs. Everybody should have this feeling in them because this world needs more empathy and kindness. In this day and age, social media makes it so easy for the negative, terrifying and apathetic voices to take over and be the mascot for the world. Remember that doesn’t speak for everyone. If you feel like you can’t find any kind people. Be that kind person.

2. Try and find petitions to sign.

This is honestly a thing I do and although I realise maybe it could be pointless or the very bare minimum of contributing to a protest for something, it is a small way of pushing for a step in the right direction. For some petitions, people made them personally wanting to fight for something and to add onto the many signatures they’ve already got I feel like I have contributed even in a small way and it makes me feel like I’ve done something. The petition websites I trust include Change.org and Parliament’s petition website but even if I find a petition I feel is important to sign but don’t feel comfortable signing it’s ok because you shouldn’t increase your anxiety. If you need to make a backup email for petitions then do that or only sign petitions that don’t request postcodes.

3. Spread awareness on your social media

Now the important thing with this tip is not falling for the dodgy, non-reliable articles that may have even caused your anxiety in the first place. If you find a petition for an important cause, share it on Facebook or Twitter to see if your friends sign it too. If there is a vote coming up soon, make sure to share information on how to register to vote and polling station rules on your social media to encourage others to vote. The important thing about this step is that you are spreading awareness to stories or also giving people ideas on what to do to work towards a better future so you are doing something towards it. (On some social media there are add-ons to blacklist certain topics so, on Instagram, Tumblr or Twitter maybe tag any articles you share if you are worried about upsetting any anxiety in your friends!)

4. Look into volunteering or groups you can join to be active

Now, this tip might not be for everyone or even possible for everyone due to everybody having different lives. Some people might not have the spare time or money to volunteer or some people may feel too anxious or uncomfortable to join a group of strangers but if you feel you want to do something active towards a kinder, nicer future – try looking into volunteering or groups! If you are on the political side and want to contribute to a party you believe in there is a lot of opportunities for supporters in the UK to do so, I think it’s also quite easy in Universities where there will be societies like Labour societies or Green party societies. If your anxiety sits somewhere in environmental, maybe google to see if there are litter-picking/beach clean up groups to join. Perhaps if you just, in general, want to contribute to being a better person look into volunteering at an animal sanctuary, charity shops, brownies/scouts groups or at a youth group! Do-It is a great website to try and find volunteering opportunities near you!

Finally, my last point I want to make, much like the last post, is don’t feel stressed with yourself or guilty and take your time. The main lesson here is that we want to relieve your anxiety and move past it because you need to let your body and brain realise it can’t do a million things at once, it can’t save the world and the world does not rest on your shoulders individually. You are just a person. You are only human. Even doing small things one step at a time is doing something and working towards a better future and you shouldn’t push yourself any harder than that and you should listen to your body. When you are feeling drained or overwhelmed remember to take a break and relax. Do not feel guilty.

I hope everyone enjoyed this one and has picked up even one or two tips from it.

Thank you for reading and have a lovely week,

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Dealing with the world when you feel too small to do anything: part 1 of ?

So it’d be a lie if I said the world isn’t having it’s dark moments lately. Everyone knows what and who I mean. Tyrant leaders, governments falling apart and showing instability, cuts to things that are there to help people live normally, environmental problems, every day there will be a sad news story and at least every month it seems something bad happens.

I decided to start writing this post and maybe possibly turn it into a series of posts, because I know what it’s like to be paralyzed at your computer or phone in fear and scared by the news. The way my anxiety goes about it normally goes like this: I check twitter, I’ll go on the moments and if something dramatic has happened in either the world or politics, I will click on it and read the usual news websites (BBC, Guardian etc.) that come up first. Then I will go onto the tabloids that aren’t known to be trustworthy but in my state of anxiety my brain is believing anything and wants to know every corner of the situation in case it can find something to calm itself down, this goes on and on as people’s comments come in and the situation is drawn out and escalated – people argue, people bring up other things to prove their point, people have conspiracies and different theories and it all vigourously whirls around my brain like a tornado and I normally end up in a state of sitting, physically shaking at my computer, feeling like I’m about to throw up and feeling absolutely helpless and unsafe.

And yet every natural disaster, every terrorist attack, every dodgy thing a world leader does, every joke/meme about the apocalypse, even obvious propaganda – the cycle of anxiety starts. People close to me know about this and the answers I get always dwell to ‘don’t read it/stop reading it/turn your phone off and distract yourself.’. When I’m in my state of anxiety, I’m convinced keeping up to date with not only the story, but every randomers comment on Twitter or response to news articles, is somehow keeping me safe? That whilst my body is in flight or fight mode, that somehow keeping my brain focused on what’s making me panic is preparing my body for any danger. Yes, even over random tweets of politicians arguing about how they feel about Brexit or such. Hell, I’ll admit even the recent satire, comedy Sacha Boran Cohen has released ‘This is America’ (which despite what I’m about to say, I strongly recommend everyone watches it) left me in a spiral because in his show his extremist, pro-gun character he puts on manages to get people in Congress to admit they think arming young children would be a good idea? It’s bloody smart because it’s showing the world the true attitude of these people who are in great power but it left me in a spiral because I felt helpless that there’s nothing I could do to further expose these people or maybe even do anything to push their careers to a deserving downfall? I was scared about how people in the US government think.

But, I know deep down, it is not healthy nor safe to do this to myself. It is also not good for me or anyone around me to just give in and give up. To become a shell of complete pessimism and hopelessness, especially now. And I know there is plenty of people who may not fall into absolute anxiety and panic attack frenzy like I do, but will see news stories and fall back to ‘why care anymore’ attitudes – I can’t explain how sad or cringy it makes me feel when I’ve seen people say they’re not voting because ‘there is no point’, or claim protests ‘don’t do anything’. I remember once I called out an old friend back in high school on littering and she just said to me ‘who cares global warming is happening anyways’. It breaks my heart and spirit. But I refuse to give up completely, I want to help anyone who ever feels like this. I want to give even the smallest bit of hope to someone. I want to encourage people to try and fight the negativity because we need it. Our mental health definitely needs it. Sure, we can’t change the world completely but one day all of our little actions might and what I suggest now might help someone sleep better tonight and better on days when the news just seems like a complete rainstorm.

What I say doesn’t even have to be necessary for being anxious by the news. It’s meant to be for helping you deal with reading scary things online and dealing with a feeling of hopelessness. Whether you’re reading the news, whether you saw something your friends posted online that has made you feel sad, whether something happened to you that has made you feel like it is the worst day in the world. Don’t give in to the hopelessness feeling.

  1. Step away from the computer, put the phone down or close the tab.
    That weird saying of describing something as ‘being like a car crash but you’re unable to look away’ is definitely true and it can be relevant to anything. In my case, bad world/political/environment news or maybe even obviously trash comments online. I start reading something I know from the get-go will upset me but I keep reading and reading and scrolling and I can’t look away even though I know I won’t get full closure because social media is a big, endless hole of different personalities, fake personalities, trolls, fake news, exaggerations and stories. But what you need to do right now is close the tab. Whether it’s an article proving how disappointing our country leader is or that your crush has put themselves as in a relationship on Facebook. You need to close it and take a deep breath. You’re allowed to do this.
  2. Message someone to talk out your anxiety or even just talk it through with yourself out loud.
    Your anxiety and demons can sometimes yell over you and you feel very out of control but when you start to talk your thoughts through, rant, or label what of your thoughts is irrational or unhelpful it can really help you calm down and move on maturely. I always find myself doing it when I tell my mum something has made me scared or anxious. I’ll find myself going ‘then again, that news article can’t be entirely true because of X fact’ or if it’s a personal situation ‘then again this person might not have invited me out because of X reason not because they don’t like me?’. The irrational thoughts and jumps to conclusions start to fade a bit once you talk it out. If you don’t feel comfortable going to someone, I even find it helpful to talk to myself out loud just to hear something and calm myself down.
  3. Put on something funny, heart-warming or silly.
    A cliche tip but it does help. One fun story from when I was younger, my mum tried to tell me about a space story of solar flares or something along those lines and I was too scared to let her explain the story because when I googled it, those predictable conspiracy theories that ‘this solar flare will cause the world to end’ came up like they do every space story. Obviously the moral here, I should have let my mum talk it out to me and calm my anxiety down (I was 13 here, I’ve learnt to deal with my anxiety better since) but what I did was not sleep (stupidly) but to distract myself I watched tons of reruns of Mock the Week and comedy quiz shows until I fell asleep and a day or so later I had calmed down enough to look it up again and realise they were harmless.
    So stick on your favourite movie, stick on a tv show that makes you cry laughing, even google videos of positive stories or funny stories to remind you of the good stuff in the world, play a game without violence or gore in it (or do if that doesn’t agitate anxiety/bad feelings), listen to upbeat music and see if it helps!
  4. Finally, do not feel guilty for needing to look after yourself and consider how to deal with this anxiety
    If like me, this is a common place thing that happens a lot or you find yourself having literally paralysing anxiety like I do just from looking at social media or going online – consider maybe looking into help for your anxiety because I don’t believe(I’m no expert) it is normal at all. It is normal to feel sadness and fear from bad news or from stuff that goes wrong but paralysing anxiety is not normal.
    Secondly, and I need to physically remind myself of this too, do not feel bad for taking time out for yourself or taking a break from Twitter or Facebook. A lot of misinformation gets shared on there and you need to remind yourself now that politicians, celebrities, journalists, world leaders and even just regular people can share their opinions and views online and claim it as facts and if it is causing your mental health to drain you need to separate yourself from it for a bit. If you were holding a burning pan that was burning your hand you would need to let go. This is a similar thing. I always get anxious that maybe trying to distract myself means I’m being ignorant or ‘turning a blind eye’ but you need to remember – as long as you acknowledge something needs to change and that things aren’t all howdy-doody. That there are bad things and views in the world – you aren’t being ignorant.

 

I do want to write more of these posts, to share how to invest in positive news, how to make small changes, share some good causes when I find them and suggest things for myself and others to do but for now I will leave you with that. Just some simple things to remember to start bringing yourself out of the hopelessness feeling.

Go and get yourself a glass of water and stick a funny movie on.

Thank you for reading,

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Little Blog Update ♡

Hey everyone!

It’s been a little while since I’ve posted any reviews or pieces on here and I do have quite a few planned, including two book reviews, but at the moment my current day to day situation is that my main laptop in which I use photoshop to create headers and edit photos for my blog is at my boyfriend’s house so when I’m at my family home I, unfortunately, don’t have access to it and I’d rather wait to make a blog post with better quality photos and a header and such instead of typing up blog posts at home and adding in the rest later in an update!

In general I am enjoying the sunshine and coping with the heatwave we are having in the UK at the moment, so in general, on my off days I am lounging about and basking in the free time I have now University is finished for summer. I recently went to Blackpool Pleasure Beach for a day out and had a really lovely time, as well as discovered some nice cafes around my area, tried new cruelty-free/veggie products I think others may enjoy and just in general trying to be more grateful for the things I get to do in my free time and things I discover and see on a day-to-day basis!

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If you would love to read any particular topics from me in my future summer posts please let me know in the comments! Anything from cruelty-free products, wishlist posts, cafe/food reviews, makeup reviews, book reviews, bullet journal updates/how to go about starting them or anything!

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As a little add on to this post, here are some uplifting/nice news stories I’ve read recently I thought I’d share to cheer people up:

Thanks for reading and enjoy your week!

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Some of my Pinterest boards

I first made a Pinterest back in 2013/2014 time whilst studying Art and Design in college to look for inspiration for my college sketchbooks and my final college art project. It was actually a really useful and secretly fun to be able to source many posts and images together in an almost ‘online scrapbook’ to refer to for inspiration and ideas. Pinterest isn’t one of the most reliable websites for keeping art attached to the correct artists since the internet is a horribly unfair place with people rudely reposting art and not sourcing where they found it however when finding art or posts that have kept the creator’s link or name connected it can be such a good website for stockpiling stuff from interesting blog posts, quotes and bringing different images together to create, like I said above, an online moodboard.

I thought I’d share with you my Pinterest and some of my boards that I have muddled together over the past year and a bit. Some of the boards I make can range from an ‘aesthetic’ moodboard where I’ve collected imagery and pictures and quotes or boards with blog posts and tips and charts for things to look back on for help.

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Link to ‘Workspace Goals’

The first one here is Workspace Goals, which basically explains itself in the title. I dream of one day having a really cute little study room or even a desk/work space set up in the way I like it and this board is just there for me to pine over the cute, minimalist photos of other people’s desks and such.

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Link to ‘Journal Inspo’

‘Journal Inspo’ is for pinning other images of bullet journals and such for inspiration and ideas for spreads as well as pinning people’s blogposts where they discuss tips and tricks for starting a bullet journal!

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Link to ‘uni tips’

This board has been super useful for me this past academic year because even the simplest photos on here that give you tips on managing your workload or suggesting more suitable vocabulary and words to use in essays. I definitely recommend checking some of the stuff pinned on there, if you are studying like myself!

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Link to ‘2018: motivation, discipline and self love’

This last one has been very personal and centered to helping me deal with my mental health, productivity and such in 2018. My goals as a person is that I would like to increase my productivity and motivation, keep myself disciplined but obviously learn to love my self a bit more. This board covers a lot of those things with links to blog posts and lists of stuff that discusses ‘good habits to develop’ or how to ‘beat bad feelings’, but also with lovely and empowering quotes and poetry. It’s one of my favourite boards and I’m glad to have found some of the stuff pinned on there.

Please find my pinterest page here; if you would like to follow me and definitely do as I’d love to check out other people’s boards! I hope some of my boards might be inspiring to others or have links and such on there that are useful!

Thanks for reading,

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Working on my blog and online presentation

Back when I started this blog I had quite a bit of time to push out at least one blog post every week or two and since starting University it’s been very easy to let my blog fall through my finger tips and become something I check on and update maybe once a month at the most. University has been an experience that has helped me grow and definitely now in second year has helped me realise the kind of person I want to be and what I enjoy doing and how I want to come across as a person and a writer.

I’ve been lucky enough this year to have opportunities to expand my writing skills both in University and outside. I recently had an article on Culture Calling’s website GoSeeThis where I talk about independent bookshops in Manchester and have been in the works of writing another article for them that hopefully I can share soon! From University I have realised how much I can enjoy writing and researching and studying if I buckle down and find the motivation for it, which is why I’m very interested in the online aesthetic of ‘studyspo’ and the community on websites like Instagram and Tumblr that share their bullet journals and their tips for  becoming more organised and having a better study schedule. All of these little things that have been adding up over my second year have made me realise how I want to put more effort into creating an aesthetically-pleasing blog with articles and posts that obviously still capture a personal approach so I can share my own views but I also want to create posts that can advice people or recommend stuff.

I really enjoy writing recommendations for cruelty-free products or makeup or places to visit and I also enjoy writing about myself and updates about how I’m doing in university and life but I think now I need to focus this blog somewhere in particular or keep a consistent theme. I also want to be able to link my Instagram and blog together so I’m unsure whether to create a new instagram that’s mainly blog-based or not! I’m massively inspired by bloggers such as Lucy Moon, Kiera Rose and Hannah Witton, all of them have assorted outlets whether it’s a written blog, vlogging or instagram. They’re all very talented at focusing their blogging or posting around particular things and keeping it consistent but at the same time they have personal touches and talk about personal experiences and that’s how I wish I could be through my blog.

I am always open to feedback on my blog whether it be what topics people would be interested in or whether the theme is appealing. So, over the summer I am definitely going to start trying to change up my blog and make more posts with consistent themes and topics and if you enjoy the posts shared, I’d love it if you could also share them or show them to your friends! Please watch this space because I am going to try to put a lot of work into my writing and blog over summer.

Thank you for reading my ramble! Look out for some new blog posts soon!

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How I got the motivation back for reading and writing

Long time, no blog!

Two days ago it was my 22nd birthday! It’s mad to think when I started writing this blog I was only 19 and still in the midst of figuring out if I wanted to go to University or carry on looking for full-time jobs, I remember being in the struggle of being made redundant from a dodgy apprenticeship company and just about finding what I loved to do – which is writing. So much has changed and I have changed a lot since being a teenager but I still sometimes feel like my 19-year-old self. However, I’m glad that writing and reading have become such a big passion in my life now whilst being in my early twenties (what a scary sentence to say!) and I feel it’s something that relaxes me and motivates me.

Obviously going back to University and especially doing a course that revolves around language and literature helped me get back motivation in reading and writing, but I definitely don’t find myself reading non-ficiton and textbooks for fun and I do still dread coursework and essays and procrastinate. But now I find that reading regularly definitely improves my concentration and even my writing skills. Last Winter, I got a wonderful opportunity to write poems for a University exhibition and in one of my modules I had to write so many words of my own contemporary novel – when I took the drafts to my tutor to get the feedback he told me my writing has improved massively since my first year and I definitely think reading has helped without me even realising!

I’d recommend keeping track of what books you have enjoyed and read too so you can look back and remember the stories and how they made you feel. I use a GoodReads account to keep track of the books I’ve read but also love posting them on my Instagram and sharing little reviews of what I thought! I’d also recommend maybe trying beloved classics or new genres to mix it up and surprise yourself! Last year I made a start on Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen and ended up falling in love with it and starting my own little Austen collection which I hope to get through this year! I’m currently in the middle of Emma and have a weird adoration for how Austen writes.

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When it comes to writing and studying, I definitely feel setting up your own little study area in your house or keeping your notes colourful and interesting! For a while, I’ve been absolutely obsessed with a theme on Instagram, Tumblr and Pinterest called ‘studyspo’ (Study Inspiration). People post their notes, diaries, bullet journals, desk setups and the different techniques they’ve used and it’s just really motivating because I look at them and think ‘Wow I wish I had my stuff all together like theirs!’. You don’t even need to have the high-end stuff they may have, simply getting cheap colourful fine-liners, highlighters, a pen and a cute notebook and you can transform your boring notes to something you have interest in and keeps in your memory. Another tip that goes hand in hand with that is definitely taking notes by hand. It’s been said that writing your notes by hand and paraphrasing them in your own words helps facts and information stick in your brain a lot faster than typing them up. I personally like to try and scribble down all my notes in class or downloading what tutors have put up on the student access site (e.g Blackboard) and making time to carefully rephrase and write them out again in a cute notebook with pretty handwriting so I can spend more time taking it in.

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Finally, I started my own bullet journal this year. I tried a little one last year and decided to take the plunge and get a gorgeous hardback notebook in London which I have made my bullet journal. These are great because you can design them how you want, make the spreads whatever you want and cater it to you and your priorities. In mine so far, as well as typical weekly diary spreads, I have made pages to remind me what books and films I’d like to discover this year, a calendar where I can colour each day in to match my mood so I can keep track of it and even a pretty page for my dungeons and dragons character! So many people have gotten into this and you can get inspiration off youtube, pinterest and instagram!

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I hope you enjoyed this and that it may even give you a bit of inspiration! I may in the future share some of my favourite Instagram handles and Pinterest boards I’ve made that have inspired me and motivated me!

Thank you for reading,

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excessive daytime sleepiness is a pain but I need to work better with it

So this post is hopefully going to come across a lot more personal and open than any other posts I’ve done in the past where I’ve tried to put on a professional ‘blogger’ persona and give out advice and tips. Not that there’s anything wrong with those kind of bloggers and that kind of online persona is definitely what get’s people into the professional blogging industry. But lately, for the most part of the past year, I’ve been really bad with my blog and unfortunately good at neglecting it which I am mad at myself for.

Now I could write a list of 100 reasons why I’ve been terrible at writing over the past year but nobody wants to read a list of excuses for not doing something because it doesn’t pass on any inspiration or reason to relate, which is the kind of vibes I wanted to give out when I started this blog. I’m only human and I’m not perfect or good at keeping to a schedule or plan, but I’ve always wanted to be an approachable person, I want to start conversations and make people think outside the box or look deeper into themselves. Which is one of the many reasons I started this blog and is one of the reasons I keep coming back to it.

As you know, I started my first year of University in September last year, and I have pretty much finished my first year at this point! I’ve received all my marks from my coursework and classes ended a while back. It was a roller coaster of a first year for me personally because it was such a change to my life that I thought I could handle, but had no idea how it would work with my mental health or my social comfort zone. I struggled with many things over the year personally and tried to keep it mostly to myself so that I could try to learn how to overcome things and survive the next two years of University. But one thing that really came to my attention in University, because it affected it in a way, was my body’s capability and strength. Or to put it in a more blunt, laughable way – I am so easily fatigued, it is hilarious and scary.

I have missed a lot of University this year due to sleeping in or feeling so tired and weak that I actually feel physically unwell. I have fallen asleep in lectures and in the library. Embarrassingly enough, I actually had a little corner in my University’s library for a while that I used to go and nap if I felt too tired. I was pretty sad when exam time came and people actually used that area of the library. If I didn’t get enough sleep at night I would feel sick the next day. My eyes would drop without warning and my legs would ache as if I had attached extremely heavy weights to them. Sometimes I’d get nauseous, other times I’d get headaches. I was feeling a lot weaker this year, and it definitely took a toll on my mental health and stress too. I am so lucky and amazed that I managed to pass this year. But what does this have to do with my blog writing and me now?

Well I think the fatigue or excessive daytime tiredness isn’t something that was just sitting dormant until class-time was around because, boy am I still tired. I have a lot of free time now aside my jobs, to do something with myself and yet I put off writing so much. I’ve actually forgotten to write a concluding post about my JustGiving donations (which are all fully donated by the by! Thank you so much if you did donate!) because I’ve been spending so much free time feeling too tired and putting off opening WordPress and writing! But I don’t want this to be an excuse post or a post trying to give me a reason to not feel bad about neglecting my blog, I want it to be a confession post almost – a post where I’m putting down my main problem on the table so I can think about it, and try to figure out a way to work round it.

Trying to find stuff to write about can be hard, especially trying to find things that people may enjoy reading. But I believe, like most creative processes, doing it again and again is good practice and helps you improve and that’s why I don’t want to neglect writing for too long. If anybody has any advice or ideas on what I could write about that would be great!

But as well as that, if anybody has any ideas of working/writing whilst struggling with fatigue that would be amazing. Feel free to comment or message me.

Thanks for reading my little ramble, have a glorious week –

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