Positivity after a bad experience

If you regularly read my blog posts you may have seen my bad apprenticeship experience post a while back, when I first got dismissed from the job under poor reasoning. I have thankfully gone through a lot of good stuff and job experiences since then and it is not having a negative effect on me anymore however it was upsetting to find out that same company unfortunately, really screwed over, the last of my group of apprentices who were told again and again they were ‘guaranteed’ a start this February. They got told a couple of days, via an email, before their start date there was ‘not enough interest’ to start up a second year and I think that’s really cowardly and sad. I feel extremely bitter towards the company again for my colleagues because some of us were a good group of friends who had been through all of this mess together.

So I thought I’d make this blog post dedicated to the group of friends I made at this apprenticeship. They are definitely people who have changed me for the better because, despite the car crash ending this apprenticeship experience had, during the time I saw them every weekday 9-5 my confidence definitely went off the charts and I started to grow as person. I made friends with personalities I would have been too shy to have even tried speaking to during say, college or high school and had lovely memories of creating games and working with them.

There will definitely be tons of times I will miss with these lot, but I am especially thankful for, all the inside jokes, the outings, the pranks people played on each other, the teamwork and even how some of us could uplift and cheer up others when that person had to work with a colleague who was maybe selfish and hurtful. There was stuff I’m sure none of us would miss and can laugh about not having to deal with it ever again such as unfair colleagues, the vending machines stealing change or the mess that was the Metrolink that most of us had to use to get to work. God forbid also bringing up the hell that was the toilets in our work place. Our offices were shared in a big building with a lot of other companies and god knows what monsters who weren’t toilet trained were in these companies but jesus! It’s like some people have never seen a flush before.

So yeah, I think I need to thank these people for giving me one of the best years of my life that I’d never change. I’d happily live through it again even if it had the same outcome (obviously warning my group that we shouldn’t expect a second year). I am so greatful that I met some of the most hilarious, awesome friends there and even my boyfriend who I’m so thankful I met because I don’t know what life would be like without him there as both a partner and a friend.

Thank you Will, Alex, Matt (both of them!), Jake, Danny, Marco, Lewis, Jack (again both of them – you need original names guys) and all the others for making that year awesome and I know all of you have great futures ahead of you!

Sorry this is so cheesy

Thanks for reading,

Helena x



the no strings attached friend

Do you have friends?
But do you ever feel you don’t feel included or do the same particular ‘friendship group’ things your friends do with other people?
Do most of your friends not know each other?
Have you never been included in a group chat of more than 3 people?
Do your friends have their own ‘gang’ of mutual friends, but you are kind of singular, off the side and are not really part of the ‘mutuals’?

Maybe you are the ‘no strings attached’ friend.

First of all, I completely made that phrase up, but mainly cause today I wanted to write about a concept I have in my head that I think describes myself, however I have never really heard a common term for this ‘phenomenon’ or met anyone who it relates to. (So it’s not a phenomenon. It’s early, ok?)

I will protest I am not a friendless person. I have my boyfriend, friends and friends of friends I think of dearly and try my best to ensure I am an enjoyable person to be around. Granting all this, none of my friends really know each other? This is most likely from meeting each friend in different situations – some in school, some in college, some online and some at work. However they all have their own little groups or squads of friends who I will have heard of from talking to the friend I know engage in group chats, going out drinking/clubbing/shopping/meals and genuinely are a gang of friends who trust each other, do stuff together and chat about stuff all together.

You could argue “stop being paranoid Helena just introduce them to each other” however I don’t find that simple? And believe me I have tried it. The online friends live far away, some friends are in University so they are also probably living a bit further away and they’re all very different people. I am never absolutely spot on sure if any of them will get along together so I do not like putting people through the awkwardness of meeting each other for the first time especially if they have a bunch of other friends they can confide in and spend time with. Plus I am an extremely shy person myself, it takes me energy just to meet up with friends I haven’t seen in a while mainly cause of being anxious about keeping conversation up or making sure they enjoy their time with me. It’s even more scary trying to make sure two people who have just met get along nicely.

Another factor of being the no strings attached friend is when something goes wrong and you have an argument or falling out with one friend, it’s really difficult to get strong advice or get another friend to help you deal with it. They don’t know who the hell you’re talking about! They just know their name and what you’ve told them, they can’t predict their personality or reasoning for whatever has gone down between the two of you. They can just give you sympathy or pity which if the thing that’s gone down with one of your friends is serious is a struggle because sometimes “I’m sure they didn’t mean it/It’ll resolve itself soon” isn’t always helpful.

So is it just me who is one of these friends? It’s like you are the tree trunk and on the end of all your branches is a unique, beautiful, healthy leaf but they all have their own extra branches who are special to them and none of your branches interlink or even go near each other. Or like a mind map in school where I’m at the center but on each of my friend’s link to my center circle they have tons and tons of people coming off theirs.

If you can relate feel free to comment! I’m quite interested

Thanks for reading,
Lenah x x