Today on Twitter I noticed a very interesting hashtag that’s gone viral that I believe a lot of people should check out. Now, for warning purposes, the core story behind this trending topic is very sad and could hit home for a lot of people – it did for me. The hashtag is bringing awareness mainly to emotional abuse, psychological abuse, manipulation and toxic relationships. A lot of people are very aware of the tell tale signs of domestic/physical abuse but the other areas of the spectrum can be very hidden to people. In these situations the victim of said ‘abuse’, a lot of the time does not realise the mistreatment they are getting and would not categorize it as abuse. A lot of the time the victims will be hit with the realisation near the end of the relationship or after. Emotional abuse can cause long term trauma in victims including PTSD, anxiety, depression and the inability to trust people. This is why this hashtag is so important as it brings these situations to light and the sort of situations victims experience and explain why they are toxic and should be questioned.
Now obviously I’m not going to go into details as to why it hits home for me as that is personal to me. But there was a few select tweets on the hashtag that stuck out to me and I thought I’d write about them.
When you are in a relationship with someone it is natural that sometimes you will have arguments, accidentally upset/annoy one another or make mistakes. It is extremely healthy and suggested that when you feel something is up or you have been hurt by your partners actions you should talk to them about it. However if it seems like every other week you have to tell them they’ve done something to upset you but you walk away from it apologising to them for bringing it up or ‘overreacting’ – something is wrong. This is one of the major telltale signs of manipulation. Does the partner realise they are doing this? Maybe not but if they refuse to take responsibility and make you constantly question yourself it is very dangerous. I recommend in these situations do bring up the courage to talk to someone you trust about it and explain the whole story to them cause sometimes an outside person will realise whats going on. The victim, tends to gradually build coping mechanisms where they will start to doubt their own emotions and believe they are in the wrong so an outside person can help to talk out any feelings the victim may have doubts with. Another thing that sometimes occurs is the person putting the victim down for how they behave naturally or stuff they take interest in. I have experienced this in toxic friendships to, and unfortunately felt like I have needed to change myself and hide tastes to become the ‘perfect person’ for said friend/partner. You should never be ashamed of what music, tv series, hobbies you enjoy if they do not hurt anyone. Do not let your partner make you feel bad cause you like stuff they don’t enjoy.
Now obviously I cannot give advice to people experiencing this stuff but I hope that this blogpost does bring awareness to emotional abuse and manipulation. It can happen to anyone, any sex. I think it should be spoken about more because there is so much dangerous media out there too that may teach young girls and boys the wrong things. A huge example is the ‘hit’ 50 Shades of Grey. I’ve seen so many girls my age talking about how they want a Mr Grey or whatever and it’s advertised so hugely when really the female protagonist and ‘Mr Grey’ have an extremely toxic relationship. Your partner should not control who you talk to, your partner shouldn’t refuse to let you see your friends or family, your partner shouldn’t control what you wear. We need to speak about this more and try and teach people healthy relationships.
Thanks for reading and definitely check out the hashtag on Twitter!