I love making plans. Plans, lists, mind maps, telling people I’m going to do this and this. I love going through people’s pinterests, instagrams, blogs etc and going ‘oh my god goals. I’m gonna do (insert hobby) just like them and get good at it’. But most of the time, the plans fall quite quickly due to my terrible habit of procrastination.
I remember when I did Creative Media in GCSE we spent one term doing individual flash animations with the theme of superheroes or something like that. I designed a character in very cliche Deviant art anime style (all the rage when you’re like 14) called ‘Procrastination girl’! My teacher praised me greatly however I don’t think anyone realised this was my great foreshadowing of how I would grow as a person. Procrastination girl was who I’d slowly become.
What’s funny is most of the time my excuse for procrastinating is such a stupid excuse but makes a lot of sense and I think a lot of creative minded people do it. You want to create something perfect and worthy of praise and when you put a lot of time into something you are creating it is easy to be highly critical. Now I’m critical of a lot of my stuff before it even hits the deck – especially stuff like art, I love art but whenever I think about sitting down and doing something I think of every reason not to. I don’t have decent quality brushes, decent quality paint, my desk isn’t clear and clean enough. For some reason my brain wants everything to be absolutely perfect before I can even start anything. It’s a hard habit to get out of and it’s even more embarrassing when you start something but then the perfectionist mindset kicks in right after. This has happened really recently with my #StoptheStigma series. I want to make it as perfect as possible and everyday I just don’t see the point of sitting down and making a video because of how rubbish the camera and editing software I have is. It’s a terrible habit and I wish I could get out of procrastinating something cause I want it to be the best thing ever.
Does anybody else ever feel this way? Is there anyway to stop it? Or have we all being putting off the idea of stopping this habit?
Lenah x x
(Featured image artist: Chibird)